BiMate: Grant Denkinson

This month’s BiMate is Cake Award winner and onetime BCN editor, Grant Denkinson – pictured at a canalside during a break at the Birmingham Bi Activist weekend.

Take a seat and introduce yourself.

I call myself Grant Denkinson. About 10 years ago I started thinking of myself as bisexual, decided I really liked SM, started exploring polyamory and was welcomed into the bi community. I’ve enjoyed many bi events, made most excellent friends and just felt at home. I used to edit BCN and I’ve so far avoided running a BiCon.

I can sometimes be found campaigning with the Sexual Freedom Coalition or SM-Pride, organising sex parties, cycling, walking, cooking vegan food, providing first aid at street demonstrations, getting computers to do useful things, organising Leicester Pride, sleeping, educating journalists, reading the science news, poetry or general semantics, conversing with other humanists, washing up, thinking up many exciting projects that I rarely finish, visiting my friends or spending time with my partner and wondering why I ever leave the house.

To quote Trent Reznor,
“i want to know everything
i want to be everywhere
i want to fuck everyone in the world
i want to do something that matters”

What would you like to see more of in the bi community?
More diversity, more people, more community connection and care.

What would you like to see less of in the bi community?
Less harm to ourselves and each other. Less casual use of “community” to mean any “group”. Less insularity.

What’s your favourite film?
Brazil.

When did you know you were bisexual?
I was at a Cambridge party with friends who didn’t care what you called yourself or what genders you liked, so long as you were happy. One man announced that he’d kissed everyone in the room. He hadn’t kissed me and offered to. My heterosexual-so-far self shrugged, indulged and enjoyed. It was a surprise to me at the time although looking back, I had wanted certain male relationships to be more intimate than most people consider heterosexual friendship.

What should people try?
Everything ethical.

What would you like more of in your sex life?

Time mainly. Also more pansexual sex/sensuality parties with people who want to enjoy minds and bodies.

What are you most proud or ashamed of?
How I treat my friends (for both proud and ashamed).

What about your life would most surprise your 16 year old self?

How little I feel grown-up