What’s Happening To Our Community?

I’ve been on the London bi scene for some time now and a lot of BCN’s London readers will know me, if not all of you. Over the past few months I have opened my eyes to see the alarming facts about what’s happening to our community.

When I started going to the bi group and socialising in our scene I thought the bi community was one of great support, but now I look at it and just see holes. I feel our (London) community has become a big shagging ground and this alarms me greatly. There’s a strong ring of people and if you’re not in that circle of friends it’s very hard, as you feel intimidated. I often wondered why we don’t get a lot of new people on the scene. It doesn’t surprise me now. It is hard enough to come out, let alone walk in to what our community has become.

I have begun to feel that when I’m out with the bi community, all people are out for is to see who they can get off with or who’s shagging who. I feel very uncomfortable with this. There’s a lot more to life that just sex.

Has our community really resulted in one big shagging group? The thought makes me feel sick and ashamed. I’ve tried to get into this circle of friends but have perceived that I don’t belong there. I’m a very caring person and will be around for all my friends, good times and bad. I like to go out and have fun with them (e.g. cinema, pool, Karaoke, etc.) not just to meet people for a scene or to see who I can pick up.

I know I have hurt a couple of people lately which makes me sad as it’s not in my nature. I’m on the edge of changing my sexual identification label, as I don’t want to identify as what I feel we have become. I’m ashamed of the bi label and feel better in the gay scene. Even though I will always be bisexual, I sadly feel more likely to identify as lesbian these days.

I’ve stopped going to groups as I just can’t stand any more. I’m pulling away from my own community, one that I used to proud of, but now it’s just too much to deal with. People will not be seeing me around much any more. I’d rather spend my time with people I want to, in the environment I like. I’ll still be around as a lot of you out there are friends even if I feel I don’t fit into the sexual side of things.

I would like to close on a few alarming questions that come to mind:

1. Am I going mad, or are there others out there who feel the same?
2. What’s happening to our community?
3. How long can the bi community hold up before it folds and ends?

Sara Watson